Letting Love In: How to Break the Chains of Fear and Worry

Who are Worry and Fear, really?

The words on the pages of my journal were riddled with anxiety, filled with self-condemnation,

and disdain. I was worried, wondering frantically if I had done the “right thing” once again.

Trapped in my own mind, I was unable to move through my own thoughts.

I felt as though there was no way out.

This time He won’t come through, I thought to myself. This time it’s up to me; He has done enough.

I had zero grace for myself and little trust in my God. Deep down, I knew God loved me — yet I

didn’t know His actual faithfulness. I feared everything was really up to me and I would screw it

all up and ruin my life — which was quite an extreme thought for the situation at hand.

I felt completely unworthy of anything good. I questioned myself at every step. My thought life

had spun completely out of control.

Fear, on the other hand, has a way of hiding itself deep within our souls — going unnoticed for

decades, masquerading as us, lying, and saying that this is just who we are.

There is something deeply wrong with me, we think.

I wonder what it is.

I’d try to put words to it, but the swirl would start. I would end up confused once again,

wondering what on earth was wrong with me.

Lindsay, no one cares.

This is how it is.

This is who you are.

There’s no way out, my worried mind would murmur.

But then a kind voice would suddenly interrupt and say, “Moment by moment, Lindsay. Walk

with Me moment by moment, and I will show you.”

God is a loving, patient, and kind Father — and He was going to walk me through this process

step by step.

I had to hold tightly onto His hand. I knew if I was going to overcome my debilitating insecurity

when it came to men, dating and marriage, it would take an act of the miracle-working God.

I knew it, He knew it, my friends knew it — and heck, all the angels in Heaven knew it, too.

I would need to look to Him at every turn, or I wouldn’t make it.

God kindly took my hand and led me moment by moment to the truth that fear which causes

worry is not from Him.

I started to see worry as a bigger deal than society likes to tell us it is, mainly because it comes to

kill, steal and destroy.

The thing about worry is, it feels normal.

I wonder if I am pretty enough?

That’s worry.

I wonder if he likes me?

That’s worry.

What if he doesn’t choose me?

That’s worry.

What if I get hurt?

That’s worry.

What will other people think?

That’s worry.

Worry is a thief. It will steal from you anything it can — your peace, your joy, your security, even

your health. Just as we wouldn’t allow a thief into our home to take whatever he wanted, we

must not allow the thief of worry into our mind to steal from us, either.

I don’t know if you have ever felt tormented by worry, by the questions in your head — questions

like, “Am I lovable?”

But these questions are set up to take us out, and they must be dealt with diligently.

I thought these questions were just a normal part of my personality. But after decades of

believing lies that kept me stressed out and on guard, protecting myself even from good things, I

realized this was not okay.

Feeling completely unworthy of anything good in life was my norm. I felt such disdain for myself

that I couldn’t receive good things.

I couldn’t receive love.

I didn’t know my inability to receive love was at the root of my worried mind.

So Where Do We Start?

Worry, who are you? I wondered.

So, like any good word nerd, I looked up worry on a dictionary app — and was a little surprised

by what I found.

The definition said, to choke or strangle, to harass by tearing, biting or nipping, especially at the

throat.

I took a screenshot of the definition after double-checking that I’d actually typed in the word

“worry” — because that was not what I was expecting.

I thought it would say something like, “a condition all humans struggle with.” But it didn’t say

that. It said “to choke or to strangle.” I noticed not all dictionaries defined the word worry this

way, so I dug a little deeper to find its origin. The English word “worry” comes from the Old

English word “wyrgan” and Old High German word “wurgen” — both meaning “to strangle, to

choke.”

With a screenshot of my newfound intel in hand, I couldn’t help but think how someone, at some

point, had decided to normalize this otherwise tormenting word.

My screenshot said worry meant: “to disturb something repeatedly, to assail with rough or

aggressive attack or treatment: to torment.”

To torment?

I always thought worrying about someone was a kind gesture. Like “Hey, I worry about you.

That means I love you because I think of you often.”

But no, that is not what it said. It said “to torment.”

And torment is not a kind gesture.

Jesus talks about the “tormentor” (referring to the enemy) in Scripture. He says:

“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I came that they may have life, and have it

abundantly” (John 10:10).

When I think about my times of extreme worry in life — wondering if I was good enough, curious

if I was worthy — I realized it absolutely stole my joy, destroyed my peace, and killed my hope. I

realized by worrying, we are basically letting ourselves be tormented.

I knew what the Bible said in Philippians 4:6: “Be anxious [worried] for nothing, but in

everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be known to God” and

He will provide peace.

Ah, peace, yes — that is what we want.

And Jesus is Peace. Therefore we know there is a way out and that way is a Person who died on

the cross for us 2,000 years ago.

We ask Him to help us.

Through prayer and through conversation with our Shepard. Our Prince of Peace. He is available

to us 24/7.

Let’s try now!

Grab your journal and let’s ask Father God a few questions.

Write “Me:” and then ask Him about whatever is on your heart. For example:

Me: Father God, what do I worry about?

Then write “God:” and listen to what He might be saying.

God: (let Him answer)

Okay, it’s your turn again. It’s a conversation.

Me: Father God, what do you want me to do with my worries?

God: (pause to hear what He says & write it down)

When asking God, please know He will never contradict His Word, the Bible. He will also be

encouraging and loving, because that’s His character according to the Bible. Even if He is telling

you something that may be hard for you to hear, like a good Father might, He will still be kind,

because that is His character. Any mean voice you hear could either be yourself or the enemy of

your soul.

Now, turn that worry into a prayer! (And remember, trust is a choice we get to make in every

situation. It’s not always a feeling.)

So let’s pause to pray, because the Bible says, be anxious for nothing, but in everything by

prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the

peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in

Christ Jesus. (See Philippians 4:6-7)

Pray this prayer or a prayer of your own heart’s cry to the Lord for understanding, repentance, or

help. He will answer.

Father God,

I am so grateful that You are real, that You are big, that You are powerful, and that You truly

love me — whether I feel it or not. You are love, and I choose to believe it. I believe You knit me

together in my mother’s womb, whether anyone knew I was coming or not.

I believe You know the end from the beginning. I believe You sent Your Son to die for the anxious

thoughts in my head and the healing of my mind. Thank You, Jesus, for Your peace, for Your

blood, and Your forgiveness. Thank You that I can be free from worry, no matter what anyone

else says.

I know and choose to believe that You are bigger than my thoughts, my feelings, what my doctors

say or the world around me. You are God and I proclaim this to be true. Thank You for Your

healing love. Continue to heal me and help me to arrest every thought in my head that leads me

to worry.

In Jesus’ mighty name, I pray!

____________________

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Who are Worry and Fear, really?

So Where Do We Start?

Let’s try now!

About Lindsay Morgan Snyder