judged parent

3 Things to Remember When You Feel Judged as a Parent

“You can’t believe everything your head tells you.”

You can’t believe everything your head tells you.

I often have to remind myself of this.

Like, the other day. I will spare you all the details, but the bottom line is I shared a parenting decision I made with a good friend and in the conversation, she mentioned she would not take that route.

This was not a right or wrong type of decision rather a personal preference thing, so there was no need for worry or anxiety or especially self-doubt. But, annoyingly I later found myself fretting over and questioning my original decision. I HATE THAT.

I told myself…
Just get over the conversation. But, I couldn’t.
Let go of your negative thoughts. But, I clung to them anyway.

They are just feelings. Don’t let feelings run the show. But, they were running the show.

Self-doubt kept hanging around and messing with my head as if she was entitled to be there.

Jesus, stay near, because I don’t have time for needless worry. How do I push past these thoughts?

The word TRUTH popped into my head. My heart felt, surround self-doubt’s lies with TRUTH.


I’m going to try that.


I started with truth #1: My thoughts spun the conversation into negative. I replayed our exchange. My friend didn’t say she thought I made a poor choice. Nor did she give me the impression she thought she was a better mom. She wasn’t even critical; she was just participating in our discussion by sharing her thoughts. MY BRAIN twisted her conversational words into judgmental words.

On to truth #2: God made everyone different ON PURPOSE. He knows all of our choices and decisions are going to be different and He WANTS IT THAT WAY. Our uniqueness makes life rich and full. So,
this decision I initially felt good about is probably because God intentionally gave me peace over it. Because I’m suppose to follow His path for my life, not His path for other peoples’ lives.

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And I finished with truth #3: God promises to give us wisdom. When we ask for it, He doesn’t withhold it (Proverbs 2). God breathes His voice, His direction, His wisdom into our thoughts. So, all of us are capable of making best choices. Combine that promise with hindsight from our previous wise decisions and let that give us confidence that this thought out, intentional decision is also a solid choice.

THAT is what I think scripture means when it says to put on the armor of God. To take a lie floating around in our head and surround it with His truths—armor—that blocks the lie from going anywhere near our hearts.

Because, we have all been there. Needless self-doubt has messed with every single one of us. And no, it’s not about everyone agreeing with us. Nor does it mean we lack confidence. Instead, we all experience self-doubt because it’s a part of the human experience. It’s a result of life’s PRESSURE. Even when we say, I’m not going to feel pressure to do it all well and be everything for every one. (Because we shouldn’t.) Still, the pressure is OUT THERE.

But, ladies, we don’t have time for this nonsense. We don’t have time for negative thoughts. So when those moments come, let’s choose truth. And armor.

Then, onward friends.

Cheryl Elizabeth
Once I became a mom, my perspective on life completely changed. And I longed to see God in motherhood, in my daily life and His beauty in the ordinary. This blog holds snapshots of my journey of faith, parenting and our home. This blog is also a place for me to be creative with my photography. I would love it if you would join me as I daily do my best to choose JOY. Thank you for being here and reading this! I am so glad you stopped by!

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