The “Virgin Scale,” Dating and Netflix n’ Chill—Here’s Why Waiting Sucks but Is So Worth It

Let’s get real for a second…

I want to be really real about the whole purity thing because I think it gets really prettied up and sugar coated and that’s great and all but it’s not helping anyone.

Because I know there’s sisters out there who feel like dirt when they think about their sexual past (or present, whatever).

I also know there’s other sisters out there about to settle for the Netflix n chill guy because you’re lonely.

There’s probably some of you married, just really not feeling your sex life, and tempted with other things.

And I for sure know that there’s other sisters, like me, who are just really flippin’ over waiting til marriage.

So wherever you are on the virgin scale, I have something to say.

You’re not alone in your struggles. And your desires and temptations are not weird. Your shame isn’t something to hide and your worth isn’t something to toy with or compromise just because you’re lonely, emotional or hormonal.

And I also want to be real in saying that I don’t have it totally figured out. Don’t think for one second we haven’t been tempted or struggled in this area. Actually I’m convinced it’s a miracle we’ve made it this long because we’re both just really over it (35 days til the wedding! woot woot!).

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Dear Girl Who Thinks She's Not Enough

Okay maybe that was too real but I know you don’t need another person pretending they’re purer or holier than you. Because purity isn’t just a physical thing but also a state of the heart. In that regard, we’re all guilty. But I think we also need to take this more seriously because it’s a serious thing.

So I don’t know what the specifics are of your struggle.

But I do know that you are a daughter worth dating.

I think we need to DATE. Really date. Have fun. Make memories. And don’t be afraid to ditch the dude who won’t date you. You’re not alone in your shame, you’re not alone in your struggle. But you are worth more than Netflix n chillin. You’re worth waiting for and dating more. Just sayin’.


Jordan Lee
Author, blogger, photographer and friend. Telling stories from my soul to yours. Your brokenness is welcome here.

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