You might not even realize that you are beating yourself up. You may be someone who on the outside looks like she has it altogether or you may look around you and think everyone has it together, everyone except for you.
What I am asking you to understand, is that no one has anything together, really.
We are all in this together; we are all fighting the same LIAR.
See, I never knew this when I was your age. I thought every thought that came into my head was TRUE, and was MY OWN.
The voices in my head were so mean but I didn’t know they were not true and they said things like…
“You are disgusting, no one will ever love you.”
“You are a horrible person.”
“Everyone is better than you.”
“There is something really really wrong with you.”
“Those thoughts you have are not normal.”
And some of them were not normal, but again not all of the thoughts that come into your head are your own.
See girls I was a “normal” teenager, JUST LIKE YOU, but I lived in my head where the lies started and because of that I believed them and because of believing lies about myself, I deeply deeply hated myself and wanted to end my life, but nobody knew because on the outside everything looked all good.
Instead, I drank, a lot, so much so that I would not hear the lies, but the truth is it just gave more of my mind over to the Father of Lies, it clouded my judgment, big time. I made life threatening decisions because deep down I didn’t care if I lived or died. I thought the world would be better without me. No one knew I hated myself, I hated the person I THOUGHT I was, but the person I THOUGHT I was, was not truly who I was. Does that make sense? You might be believing you are someone YOU ARE NOT!
After yet another failed attempt to find SOMEONE to love me, I got dumped again, and I lost it. I cried so hard I could barely breathe, all of my cool girl attitude fell to the ground and my true heart came gushing out in tears and agony.
I heard again, “Lindsay you are completely worthless, no one will ever love you, look at you, you got dumped again, you are such an idiot, you might as well just give up. You are so stupid and ugly and NO ONE WILL EVER LOVE YOU”. This time the voice was louder, it was worse, and it felt like I was literally being beat over the head with a crowbar.
For some reason I cried out to God, a God I didn’t know. My sister talked about God a lot, like she knew Him. I thought He was busy with world wars and starving people, I didn’t think He cared about a little loser like me. But just as I was about to crack, as a last resort I said “God” and as clear as day in my head I heard, “I am right here Lindsay, I have always been right here.”
I knew it was God, even though I didn’t know God. I knew as the room went silent the voice deadened and peace fell on everything around me that was God.
For the last 9 years I have been fighting that voice that wants to make an appearance in my life again, wants to tell me I am worthless, I will never be loved, I am not good enough and the ONLY way I have found to keep the lies out is to literally pick up the TRUTH (His WORD) that is sharper than a TWO EDGE SWORD, from the Creator of the ENTIRE Universe and just as Jesus did, tell the enemy (the Father of Lies) that IT IS INDEED WRITTEN: I am a beloved daughter of the MOST HIGH GOD and no weapon formed against me shall prosper.
God has a good plan for my life and I am loved, accepted and adored by the One who created the very universe.
We have to fill our heads with the truth of who we are, so that there is absolutely no room for lies. It is just part of this life lovelies. You are lovely, you are beautiful, and you are a daughter of the KING OF KINGS. It doesn’t matter what culture tells you, people create culture and people are just people, God is GOD. He loves you more and He wants to tell you just how beautiful and valuable and cherished you are, if you hear Him tell you that you are a beauty queen or a love bug, don’t think it’s not Him.
He is a LOVING FATHER. The enemy wants to steal your God given identity and confuse you! But YOUR GOD, YOUR DADDY is way bigger and way better and has amazing things to reveal to you in His Word, so girlie girls, get your Bibles out and become the precious little warrior that you were meant to be. Don’t believe another lie.
If you want to talk, email me firstname.lastname@example.org! I want to hear what you are dealing with because I bet I know who is at the root of your issue and it probably isn’t your parents or your friends or even those who hurt you, it is always the Father of Lies.