When it comes to loving someone with ADD/ADHD, it can be hard to navigate what works and what doesn’t. At any given moment, a word or phrase from you could lead to an explosion of emotion.
It’s not because we’re crazy or anything, it’s just that people with ADD/ADHD have brains that think and process differently from other people. They never stop working. It’s like having a tilt-a-whirl in your mind, and nobody there to stop the ride.
Loving us can be a challenge, but I promise you one thing, it’s well worth it. There aren’t many other people who could love as passionately or deeply as we can. Here are 11 things you need to know if you love somebody with ADD.
There Is No “On/Off” Switch.
We have incredibly active minds. Remember the tilt-a-whirl I referenced? Our thoughts are constant, and our brains don’t ever stop running in a circle. That being said, if you ask us what we’re thinking about, 1) it’s probably super random, and 2) we’re definitely lying if we say “nothing.”
Our Concentration Is Funky.
You can toss concentration out the window if we’re emotional or distracted. If we are upset about something that happened earlier in the day, or even something that happened two seconds ago, we simply cannot focus on anything else. But! If we are interested in something specific, we zone in and focus so deeply on that thing that it can be hard to pull us out of that zone. For this reason, starting a project is a challenge, but stopping a project could mean war.
We Can’t Make Decisions to Save Our Lives.
People who suffer from ADD are the worst people to talk to if you want to know where to go to lunch, what colors to paint the walls, which shoes to buy at the store or really anything else that requires a definite decision. We tend to procrastinate, or divert from things that require us to make a decision, because there are so many options in our mind. We have a tendency to overthink things, and each option has unlimited amounts of conceivable outcomes.
We’re Profoundly Intuitive.
Because our minds never stop racing, we are incredibly gifted at observing and thinking far beyond the surface level. This also might have something to do with the fact that we are pro at overthinking things. Combine these two things together, and we are able to connect better and develop creative things from the depths of our thoughts.
We’re Super Weird With Our Phones.
Sometimes we absolutely love talking on the phone. We can do it for hours—especially if we have space to pace and move around while doing it. Then there are times where our phones are literally the bane of our existence, because responding to a text message or having a conversation is interrupting what we’re zoned in on. Don’t take it personally, we still love you, and we’re probably reacting immaturely, but it’s only because of where our heads are at. Cell phone interruptions are frustrating to us, and if you’re on the other line, we have a tendency to take it out on you.
We Become Anxious Easily.
People with ADD often overthink (SHOCKER) about what we say to other people. We experience social anxiety when it comes to meeting new people because we’re scared of saying something wrong. We’re naturally people pleasers, so saying something silly or making someone else feel uncomfortable is the worst thing ever. In public, too much noise in a loud restaurant can send our senses into lockdown mode, and a small reminder of a task we forgot about can literally seem like the end of the world.
We Have Absolutely No Control Over Our Emotions.
We tend to have very intense thoughts, emotions and daydreams. That being said, our feelings are totally unregulated, so when a thought turns into a daydream, you can bet that there will be some sort of emotion to follow. Sometimes our emotions get the best of us, and that can cause problems for the people around us. Our feelings cause our thoughts to get all jumbled up and disorganized, which in turn leads us to freak out and often lash out in frustration. There’s no excuse for it, but just remember not to take it personally if we respond harshly, or cry at the drop of a hat.
We Become Overwhelmed Easily.
Whether it’s balancing multiple projects, or simply cleaning our bedroom, it’s likely that we’ll become overwhelmed. Because of the way our emotions and thoughts run wild, it can be frustrating to try and think in an orderly fashion. Order is what gets things done, but when we are incapable of creating order, you can open the floodgates for a silly freak out.
We Organize in Piles.
We have this super silly way of organizing everything into piles. Papers related to each other are stacked together, clothes that we don’t have time to put away are piled together, and honestly, it will probably stay that way until we become overwhelmed by the fact that nothing is actually organized. It can be hard for us to organize our thoughts let alone our lives, because our brains don’t function in an orderly manner.
We Are Professional Multi-Taskers.
It may not be super organized multi-tasking, but it works for our brains. When we’re focused and working on one project, it’s inevitable that we are simultaneously thinking about 17 other things that need to get done. This can be a good and a bad thing. Multi-tasking means that we are getting things done, which makes us feel accomplished. But when we become overwhelmed by everything we’re multi-tasking, you can expect a full-on-meltdown.
We Are the Most Thoughtful People You’ll Ever Meet.
I mean, obviously!
But in all seriousness, between our overthinking, our deep feelings and our passionate emotions, you’ll never meet a person like the one you love with ADD. We are determined beings, and when we do something, it’s done with our heart and soul. We are compassionate, and mindful—thanks to our profound intuition.
It can be difficult to keep up with our minds—heck, we can’t even do it, but life is a wonderful adventure when you live it with us. Sure, we have trouble controlling our impulses, and we think way too hard about things that might seem silly, but loving us with these things in mind will result in nothing but the best from our relationships with you!